
For all of the people who have been involved in a long distance relationship, adding the complications of that being connected to a foreign country takes it to a much different level. I you have thought about trying to find true love a happiness in a foreign country make sure you are truly up to the challenge, as it is not an easy process.
There are many internet sites which offer the opportunity to make initial introductions or contacts with someone. You will hear often when you talk with people about these sites, if they have personal experiences, it will vary, some good, some bad. The reality of it is that no one site is really better than the other. All of them have both legitimate people and also some scammers. I would suggest once you have found a site that feels right to you, that you proceed very carefully.
Initial conversations need to be focused on gaining an understanding of the person’s point of views on life, values and goals. You will hear in the Philippines many common statements, “How important family is”, “How important marriage vows are”, and sometimes how the culture views of relationships between older men and younger women, being genuinely accepted. With the right person, I have found all of these to be truthful, heartfelt statements, but with the wrong person they are used merely as ploys. So be careful, and most importantly be honest with yourself about what type of relationship you are truly seeking.
For me in the beginning, I knew that if I did not in my heart know what it was that I was looking for in a relationship, how could I ever hope to find it, or even recognize it when I found it. So I began by trying to understand why it was that I ever wanted to find love abroad, in a foreign country. Then I began to really list in my mind the things that were important to me, and exactly what is was that I was searching for. Not as easy as it sounds, but once I got to that point, I tried to write a very descriptive statement of what that was. Be cautious, and most importantly be honest. A relationship built on a foundation of misrepresentation is, a relationship certainly destine to fail. Even some of the odd things that may be important to you, you should honestly convey.
In the initial conversation that began my search for this mind’s eye ideal person for me, I always provided this information and would not even engage in any discussion until the person had read it thoroughly. I have been honest with my wife when I tell her that in the beginning, I spoke with over 200 people, searching genuinely for what I felt was a value based relationship. Once I found Sharon, we began our dedicated communication. We would chat almost everyday generally for an hour or two, with the exceptions of Sunday, when she would attend church.
So for me when I decided to visit the Philippines for the first time, it was not really to meet someone and get to know them, it was merely to meet someone, and validate the discussion we had, and to be sure the person presented to me was in fact the person portrayed during our hours of conversation. Needless to say for me I was lucky to find they were one in the same.
Speeding the clock forward, Sharon arrived here about a year an a half later, after three trips to the Philippines, and an exhaustive and frustrating USCIS application process, we are now married and will soon celebrate our first year anniversary.
We would like to be available to anyone who may need help in understanding the challenges in creating a “Phil-Am” relationship from a cultural standpoint, or for people at any stage in pursuing their happiness through finding their ideal person in the Philippines.
We will begin to post hopefully what you will find as useful information should you decide to begin this journey yourself, that hopefully you will find useful, and resourceful.
Let me close by saying, it is hard, difficult, frustrating at times, but in the end if you are fortunate to find true love, rewarding beyond words.
Steve