Friday, January 25, 2008
Thoughts from my husband
For all of the people who have been involved in a long distance relationship, adding the complications of that being connected to a foreign country takes it to a much different level. I you have thought about trying to find true love a happiness in a foreign country make sure you are truly up to the challenge, as it is not an easy process.
There are many internet sites which offer the opportunity to make initial introductions or contacts with someone. You will hear often when you talk with people about these sites, if they have personal experiences, it will vary, some good, some bad. The reality of it is that no one site is really better than the other. All of them have both legitimate people and also some scammers. I would suggest once you have found a site that feels right to you, that you proceed very carefully.
Initial conversations need to be focused on gaining an understanding of the person’s point of views on life, values and goals. You will hear in the Philippines many common statements, “How important family is”, “How important marriage vows are”, and sometimes how the culture views of relationships between older men and younger women, being genuinely accepted. With the right person, I have found all of these to be truthful, heartfelt statements, but with the wrong person they are used merely as ploys. So be careful, and most importantly be honest with yourself about what type of relationship you are truly seeking.
For me in the beginning, I knew that if I did not in my heart know what it was that I was looking for in a relationship, how could I ever hope to find it, or even recognize it when I found it. So I began by trying to understand why it was that I ever wanted to find love abroad, in a foreign country. Then I began to really list in my mind the things that were important to me, and exactly what is was that I was searching for. Not as easy as it sounds, but once I got to that point, I tried to write a very descriptive statement of what that was. Be cautious, and most importantly be honest. A relationship built on a foundation of misrepresentation is, a relationship certainly destine to fail. Even some of the odd things that may be important to you, you should honestly convey.
In the initial conversation that began my search for this mind’s eye ideal person for me, I always provided this information and would not even engage in any discussion until the person had read it thoroughly. I have been honest with my wife when I tell her that in the beginning, I spoke with over 200 people, searching genuinely for what I felt was a value based relationship. Once I found Sharon, we began our dedicated communication. We would chat almost everyday generally for an hour or two, with the exceptions of Sunday, when she would attend church.
So for me when I decided to visit the Philippines for the first time, it was not really to meet someone and get to know them, it was merely to meet someone, and validate the discussion we had, and to be sure the person presented to me was in fact the person portrayed during our hours of conversation. Needless to say for me I was lucky to find they were one in the same.
Speeding the clock forward, Sharon arrived here about a year an a half later, after three trips to the Philippines, and an exhaustive and frustrating USCIS application process, we are now married and will soon celebrate our first year anniversary.
We would like to be available to anyone who may need help in understanding the challenges in creating a “Phil-Am” relationship from a cultural standpoint, or for people at any stage in pursuing their happiness through finding their ideal person in the Philippines.
We will begin to post hopefully what you will find as useful information should you decide to begin this journey yourself, that hopefully you will find useful, and resourceful.
Let me close by saying, it is hard, difficult, frustrating at times, but in the end if you are fortunate to find true love, rewarding beyond words.
Steve
There are many internet sites which offer the opportunity to make initial introductions or contacts with someone. You will hear often when you talk with people about these sites, if they have personal experiences, it will vary, some good, some bad. The reality of it is that no one site is really better than the other. All of them have both legitimate people and also some scammers. I would suggest once you have found a site that feels right to you, that you proceed very carefully.
Initial conversations need to be focused on gaining an understanding of the person’s point of views on life, values and goals. You will hear in the Philippines many common statements, “How important family is”, “How important marriage vows are”, and sometimes how the culture views of relationships between older men and younger women, being genuinely accepted. With the right person, I have found all of these to be truthful, heartfelt statements, but with the wrong person they are used merely as ploys. So be careful, and most importantly be honest with yourself about what type of relationship you are truly seeking.
For me in the beginning, I knew that if I did not in my heart know what it was that I was looking for in a relationship, how could I ever hope to find it, or even recognize it when I found it. So I began by trying to understand why it was that I ever wanted to find love abroad, in a foreign country. Then I began to really list in my mind the things that were important to me, and exactly what is was that I was searching for. Not as easy as it sounds, but once I got to that point, I tried to write a very descriptive statement of what that was. Be cautious, and most importantly be honest. A relationship built on a foundation of misrepresentation is, a relationship certainly destine to fail. Even some of the odd things that may be important to you, you should honestly convey.
In the initial conversation that began my search for this mind’s eye ideal person for me, I always provided this information and would not even engage in any discussion until the person had read it thoroughly. I have been honest with my wife when I tell her that in the beginning, I spoke with over 200 people, searching genuinely for what I felt was a value based relationship. Once I found Sharon, we began our dedicated communication. We would chat almost everyday generally for an hour or two, with the exceptions of Sunday, when she would attend church.
So for me when I decided to visit the Philippines for the first time, it was not really to meet someone and get to know them, it was merely to meet someone, and validate the discussion we had, and to be sure the person presented to me was in fact the person portrayed during our hours of conversation. Needless to say for me I was lucky to find they were one in the same.
Speeding the clock forward, Sharon arrived here about a year an a half later, after three trips to the Philippines, and an exhaustive and frustrating USCIS application process, we are now married and will soon celebrate our first year anniversary.
We would like to be available to anyone who may need help in understanding the challenges in creating a “Phil-Am” relationship from a cultural standpoint, or for people at any stage in pursuing their happiness through finding their ideal person in the Philippines.
We will begin to post hopefully what you will find as useful information should you decide to begin this journey yourself, that hopefully you will find useful, and resourceful.
Let me close by saying, it is hard, difficult, frustrating at times, but in the end if you are fortunate to find true love, rewarding beyond words.
Steve
Thursday, January 24, 2008
My first year here in america...
Well when I think January 27th, 2008 completes is my first year living here, I feel like I am a little bit anxious, and happy with myself, because to me it feels like I just arrived here yesterday. The time has gone by so fast, and I did not notice that I am almost a year here in Ohio. When I talked to my husband on the other day he reminds me that I have been almost one year. He said we will have a little celebration, he going to take me out in restaurant for a dinner tonight. We will celebrate early as possible because he will have work the following day, and he will be very busy on that time. He gets home lately at 8th o’clock so it’s better to celebrate early tonight. In my mind anytime is okay for a celebration and its okay to do earlier than later. I am happy that he appraised my arrival here in Ohio.
Friday, January 18, 2008
My In-laws
This is hubby family. On the right side are my two step sons, handsome eh? The right side is my husband's brother.
When we arrived in Arizona we went directly to my in-laws home to drop our bags. Then we went to the hospital as dad was still in hospital on that time.That was so sad because he still sick as he had been for a very long time. When we approached it was mom first who recognized us. Dad was sleeping on that time because he had a surgery on that day. Even he was very weak, on the bed he tried to wake to greet us. He gave me a big hug, then i hug him too. It was my first meeting and given his health problems I was not sure I would ever get a chance to meet him in person. Dad said that he was happy that he meet me in person. He has tears in his eyes,that was a tears of happiness. Mom also was happy that she met also me in person. It felt so good when I meet them, feels me so happy that they really accept me as a daughter in law. I am happy to have lovely parents here too.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
How i met my husband
I thank to the LORD of what hes doing in my life...i was married to the great guy,that loves me so much.I really love him also and i cared about him so much.Hubby has been a member in dating site for 2 years.I was a member there too.it was november 23 of 2005,he sent me an email .He told me what his likes and dislikes.On the next morning from that night we talked about our lives ,our ups and downs can certainly strengthen a relationship when the foundation is based on the solid cored values.we are both family oriented.We observed our compatibilities just by talking everyday in the net.We shared our times,our ambitions, and dreams.Utill he told me that his coming over to visit me.he has been in my place thrice before i got here in america.Were are both happy to found each other, blessed to be married to a wonderful man.
I thank the Lord above all
and to all my friends, thank you...
Monday, January 7, 2008
My family in philippines
Hello People!
Let me tell about my family in Philippines... I came from a very large family, 9 kids in the family, plus my mother and father.
My father is a farmer and a fisherman. My mom sells fashion earrings and accessories.
I helped my mom to sell her items in the market, and sometimes in Gingoog City bus terminal. We were a very poor family but we are contented of what God has given to us, and were happy because He loved us. Even the hardest things in life will come and only but by the grace of GOD he still helped us to survived.
Great is thy faithfulness oh GOD my father
Let me tell about my family in Philippines... I came from a very large family, 9 kids in the family, plus my mother and father.
My father is a farmer and a fisherman. My mom sells fashion earrings and accessories.
I helped my mom to sell her items in the market, and sometimes in Gingoog City bus terminal. We were a very poor family but we are contented of what God has given to us, and were happy because He loved us. Even the hardest things in life will come and only but by the grace of GOD he still helped us to survived.
Great is thy faithfulness oh GOD my father
Saturday, January 5, 2008
our friendship
ohh what blessing you have been to me.I thank god for this friendship that was meant to be,
"Blessed to be here"
Like what my title page says.. BLESSED BEYOND COMPARE..
I follow a man named Jesus
Wherever He is, I want to be. Where He goes, I want to follow. I have discovered full and real life in Him and He is the greatest treasure I have ever known. Our friendship continues to grow and unfold with each season of life, and there is nothing more wonderful than this invitation of relationship He extends to every person everywhere through His own death and resurrection. I am convinced He is the way to be human.
I follow a man named Jesus
Wherever He is, I want to be. Where He goes, I want to follow. I have discovered full and real life in Him and He is the greatest treasure I have ever known. Our friendship continues to grow and unfold with each season of life, and there is nothing more wonderful than this invitation of relationship He extends to every person everywhere through His own death and resurrection. I am convinced He is the way to be human.
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